She Meant More to Me Than I Ever Thought

It has been a rather, sad weekend for us Kadena High School c/o 2007 alumnus. We lost one of our own brightest, beautiful friends, Serena Swanland. God, I sound like I'm typing an article. I don't wanna sound like that, its too painful. She was one of my best friends without me even acknowledging it. I'm sure everybody else had time with her and really connected, but its painful for me because I woulda never thought that this tragic event could happen to somebody like her. So it was Friday morning, I woke up at 9:40am to my phone vibrating. Regina called my phone like 3 times. I called back like 5 minutes later and she told me that Serena passed. I was like wait, Sabrina?! She was like no, Serena...Serena Swanland. I was in disbelief...I couldn't...she said it had been on Facebook since that morning. She asked me if I was gonna be okay, I thought to myself, yeah I'll be okay...knowing I wasn't. I hung up and checked Facebook. I stopped what I was doing and broke down, crying like big tears...like I'm talking about the ones that I've been holding in for some years now. It hurt, it hurt bad and I didn't know that it would. When I was crying I was saying "Oh God...why her? Why do I feel this way? Why am I in pain?'. I had to call Regina back because I was gonna be hurt the whole day...she cheered me up some for the moment. I knew I had to talk to people from my class because I felt obligated to...I know they were hurting, especially the ones who were really close to her....Facebook's been pretty cold for the couple of days, we really can't fathom the whole thing because its so surreal. Some people talked to her the day before she was in the car accident. Its just been crazy, and depressin for the past couple days.

We were on the Panther Prowl together, she was the only other one who was in Journalism III with me. I remember when we were debating who should get Editor-In-Chief until Mrs. Mendoza made there be 4 EICs for different aspects of the paper. Junior year, when she signed my yearbook, I thought it was cool that she remembered the classes we were in together since freshmen year.

I'm not too sure how to end this blog, but continue to pray for us, her friends and family, as I will be doing the same. Thanks Serena, for the years that we had on Okinawa. I'm sure you're watching down on us now.

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#5 Visionary Unfinished Business Spring 09 OW-OW

Iota Phi Theta Fraternity Incorporated

It's Time

Well, I only got one thing to say: It is time. I'll see you when I see you, people. [Let's door slam behind me]

Freakin Budget Cuts Please

Yeah...so I was walkin back to my room from the bookstore today. Total of my books was like $369. Added a few stuff to make the total $414.something. That's like 5 books yo, mad heavy with a huge Obama poster. But anyway, I'm walkin back to my room and thinkin to myself. "Alright that's $414 minus the $750 that I put on my SpartanCard. That refund should be about $300, add that to $1500, but subtract the $500. How am I gonna manage all my other costs, like when I wanna buy food at school, knowing that every school purchase is like a bank robbery. What other times am I gonna actually use my card for snacks? Can that $300 last for the whole semester?" The whole thing like made me realize that I need to really put myself on a serious overseer budget. I have no income, I'm a freakin college student on scholarship. I can't live on scholarship forever now. Ya know, a few paying graphics but its not alot. I'm at a full ride with school but until I get myself off financial aid (no that's not a bad thing), I have to pay for school and probably won't have any room for refund checks. I can't depend on a refund check. Now I'm stable, I'm not saying I don't have money because I do. Its just no income flow. I got pretty much 2 years of school left and I'm not too into making money just yet. I'm glad I'm on scholarships and stuff but it can't be like this forever (duh, I'm not gonna be in school forever) Hmm...maybe I just needed that reality check. Last semester, financially was fine...its just that I used like all the money on my SpartanCard, on paraphenalia and of course, food. I can do better, and I'm going to. Let's get it.

Typical

Yeah Happy New Year and all that genre. I'm doing great by the way. Like, more than ever. I'm focused on a lot of stuff in life right now. Relationship wise...definetely single and not a man whore lol. Wish I had more to say but I really can't think of anything else. Stay...good?

Sick of Love Poetry

Yeah so its been a little while since I left somethin. Soo I'm actually posting one of my poems. Hell yeah I'm gettin it copyrighted and ish so no stealing...UNLESS you site me lol. Now, its spoken word so its better spoken [by the author]. But here we go. Its called "Sick of Love Poetry" and pretty much I'm doing a little downtalking love poetry.



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Sick of Love Poetry



I’m tired of my poetry people talkin bout love
Talkin how their love comes from above
Yeah I’m talkin to the ones who, call em back to remind themselves what the hell to do, when
They start to think then
Slow down like this to make the audience wish he wouldn’t stop now because I keep wishin how
Some of the poets and slowits seem to know its always easier to say “I love you”
Who can describe a billion ways to show the days that love is just a feeling, a healing from the pressure
From the pen in hand, a high demand of words that describe love,
Can’t get enough because the words are tripping and slipping away…

Start to burn this paper with the words I’m writin, not typin the pain I feel because
When I’m sick of love poetry, I just be hatin me, save it see, I can love dangerously
Because I would run out of words to say, the days get long and drawn out
That I don’t even realize what they be talkin about
Love is that feeling when you just have to write
Because its not in plain site or clear vision,
It’s the poets decision to invite you in their interpretated vision
But when I listen…

I get a new message from what they say, love
My head starts to hurt, love
Cuz what their sayin makes no sense, love…

Hm…next time you write love, make sure it’s the right love,
From the heart to the pen, stealin the words right out of my mouth
I’m about to drought and pout because
I have no means of understanding TRUE LOVE.

Can't Keep Up

Told you I can't keep up with this thing. Life only goes so fast.

Decision Made, Gotta Get Paid

Yeah see its been a while since I actually posted something up. Its finals week though. Anyway, I've finally decided on which fraternity I am going to pledge to. I mean I already knew since like the beginning of the semester but now its like finally on its dawn of approachal (the hell does that mean) soo now the dues gotta be paid off before I start the process. Oh and just for the disclaimer, its a fraternity in the National Pan-Helenic Council so its something waay legit, not any white fraternity or anything. Anyway, I'm ready...we had the big interest meeting and got a whole lotta insight. Only downfall is, that when I pledge, I'm not gonna be able to do the dorm step show. I wasn't aware that I'd be going through the process when all this is going on. I would probably cross when the dorm step team is actually singled out (number wise). I mean I'll be able to help but I would not be on the team nor in the show.

Pledging causes money though, yo. Money that I have, with a cushion. Only thing I'm sorta worried about is Christmas shopping. I mean I know my scholarships can help me out but I think that other cushion would be a little exhausted so pretty much I'm just workin out money a little bit...it'll work if I ever have to take out a loan though. So I know I'm straight.

Long Distance

Last night, Brandy's new single "Long Distance" had me break down yo. I miss my girl...we broke up because we didn't believe in the long distance relationship. I don't know...I miss her and I just realized how much a whole she is to me. I've been wondering why I've been so corrupt. I lover her so much and I pray to God by any means necessary....oh my God, I'm in love.

Ipod Nano Message

Well, on the road today after we got back to the house, we were on our way to the commisary before we got back to school. I was just remembering alot of stuff that I was thinkin about, like stuff that I went through like on a personal journey...I turned on my Kirk Franklin: Fight of My Life and realized how delivered I was from where I was. I grinned real tight again without a worry in the world. Then I looked down at the battery. It was all empty, like DEAD. But the ipod was still playing my gospel music. Testimony much?

Little Cousin, Little Cousin: We're Sick of You

LOL I just thought of that title like with Lupe's "Little Weapon". but yeah my little cousin Tasia was a handful yo. She was asking little questions and stuff and it was really annoying. She's only 5 so you'd expect that. But she would screeam and pout and stuff and run around. But here's where I'm like whoa; her entertainment is YouTube lol. A 5-year old hooked on YouTube. I met another one of my cousins, little Quan...he was pretty a baby too. "I wanna play!" =( and he would cry because he wouldnt get his way. Yo, what did I do about all this? I just went 'Oh.' and then tried to make the situation fair...I still gave the 'Oh. Okay' treatment lol. It works because that lets them know that you're not falling into their attention getters...well I'm back at NSU now. Hungry as hell

Blog Blurb

Now I see why I have some trouble doing blogs...I anticipate them and become real lazy...anyways

Clubbin Lovin Drunkin Pt. 2

Alright, since I had to go to sleep last night because it was about 5:30AM lol. Anyways, my cousin had a bit too much to drink, yet a little too much fun.... We had to cut our clubbing early and go to the hospital after the club 'nurse' called the hospital. So me, my bro, her roomates and company ran off to the hospital. Her roommate, I forgot her name...Lisa or somethin is mad funny though, she really needs her own sitcom haha. So we waited in the waiting room for an hour and 15 till my cousin [because Gabby is her daughter] came and got me and my bro. Met Chris and Quonell there. After a mocha late' and a freakin HOT chocolate that burned my tongue, it was time to go. I wonder what Earl [the rabbit] was thinkin when we got home that late. Gabby's fine now too.... lol. Thanks for a great experience in the first night here in Greensboro, NC! Thanks to Gabby, Liz, Lisa, Chris, Quonell, and Amber!

Clubbin Lovin Drunkin Pt. 1

Well, made it to Greensboro, people. I like it here though, I mean my great aunt's house and cousin's house. Met cousins for the first time here. I'm the one who threw the first flame because my cousin Gabby wanted to know if me and brother wanted to go to the club. I said "Oh I don't know. If I go in there, I might leave with fleas." My mom told my aunt, who is A&T alumni, "he's talkin about the Aggies". LOL She got up so quick ready to beat me for that hahaha. We went onto the club tonight though. We went with my cousin Gabby (damn, she's my cousin...agggh good blood) and her friends. They're mad cool too. We were havin too much fun in the club. I mean I'm glad I went because I was hesitant to go at first. I have no regrets except for the smoke smell that I came in with. OH, I don't drink/smoke people. But Part 2 of this blog will come tomorrow because its sort of a longer blurb/story dealin with what happened when we had to cut our blubbin short. Goodnight.

Ignore Ignorance

Yo, sometimes I can't take it. It just gets really hard for me how people try to sound smart but it always comes out as ignorance. I try to cope with it but I always have a problem with it all. Its definetely a black white thing and there are TOO many stereotypes to even keep up with. I'm tired of it...but I guess that's life. All I can do is all I know how to do...I guess it works. Nah... it doesn't...

John Legend: Evolver Pt. 2

This is John Legend's best. It just flows. I can really relate to it forreal forreal. I figured out the formula to listen to new CDs too. Listen to the whole thing full out. Go to the first breakthrough song. In this case it was Track 8: This Time. This track really touched me and made me miss my girl even more. [Oh God...another blog]. This album has its perks. I especially like Quickly ft. Brandy. Next listen to the songs after the outbreak song. See how good it flows if it does. Obviously with Evolver, it flowed great. After that, listen to the tracks before the breakthrough song over and over and over. Then when you're ready, listen to the whole thing. Ha! it works. And thats the fact about this one. Evolver just works! This is the level that he's at and he's not afraid to show it.

Final Score: A-

John Legend: Evolver Pt. I

Yeees. I was so happy that I used the REST of the money in my checkings account on this. Get this though, luck or somethin else: Me, my brother and Chris went to Tarje' (TARGET) last night to get a $13.99 CD. Anthony and Chris wanted to get Kanye's 808 and Heartbreaks. Even though like a month late, I need that John Legend album. $13.99. I got that and a 10 pack of DVDs for like $10.67. Total was like $27.66 or something. I check my checkings account today because I needed some minutes. Balance $0.00. Not good but definetely destined. The total of the stuff last night was the same exact amount that I had in my account. Is that somethin called luck? LOL I don't know

Epiphany

So i felt awkward today. I felt really dirty and still do. Its okay now because I found the offset. Its "Body. Mind. Spirit." The body part is lacking. I'm gonna take a good shower tonight.

Freshmen Tolerance

they think i'm joking...

I just really had to say how this RA position is really improving myself as an authority figure. These freshmen think they could run me my ownself. Truth of the matter is, I am the authority figure that they need to be managed with. The ones who dont live on my floor are just gonna have to get the hell off if they don't like the way I handle stuff. They really don't have a say-so in anything that goes on. I'm not gonna apologize for being one of the only RAs on his P's & Q's. But I know damn sure I'm not being the doormat. For one of the first times today, I said things that I meant. I wasn't laughing, either. I had a dead serious face on and everything. I don't know why everybody thinks its a joke when I tell them to do something. And I hate that people think I'm not going to do what I say. They'll have to see what happens. And if I fine them, it won't be a thing because they've been warned over and over. That's life though.

Good Sunday

I smiled really hard tonight at 1:43AM. Despite having to be subject to another fire alarm pulling on campus, I realized how blessed I am. God told me to write this blog. He said that I should let every one now how I made it and how He's making it for me. I made sure I watched Joel Olsteen today on TV even for the brief 10 minutes. I usually don't really write about religion or anything but I don't know. Its Monday morning; Sunday passed. Anyways, Joel was talking about how things are never going to be permanent. All the negative that comes in our lives is permanent. If we disown whatever negative aspect or action or trait we have, its temporary. God did this on purpose.